Warning: The following is an every day scenario that affects millions of wine purchasers a year. Many are in denial of their condition, but suffer from it all the same. Caution, this contains not-so-graphic and traumatizing re-enactments of wine shopping, as well as bad writing and questionable sentence structure. Reader discretion is advised. Squeamish readers are advised to leave now.

“Imagine, if you will, the following scenario. You’re walking through Walmart, minding your own business. When, suddenly *bam!* the wine aisle. Critter brands everywhere. So many critter brands, it goes as far as the eye can see. And they’re adorable. You’re always getting suckered in by the cuteness of the ducks. And the penguins. And those wallabies. But, they’re kind of cute. Right? “Lucky Duck Riesling has to taste kind of good”, you think to yourself. Well, you’re wrong. And this just might happen to you, if you get suckered in, by critter branding in the wine aisle.” [Credit to Stefanie, for helping edit my terrible writing, but helping ideas to fruition :D]

Sight:  A deep yellow green.

Smell:  Dried apricots, guava, and a touch of orange and lychee.

Sip:  There’s something kind of odd about this riesling.  Primarily dry with a bit of sweetness, moderate to low acid, and what some reviewers have described as metallic taste.  This might be the result of the wine being a bit cold.  When I first tasted it, I thought the same thing, but as it got warmer, it seemed to mellow out into more of a floral flavor.  There is still dried apricot, but the other flavor has gotten more lime like.  This wine seems too heavy for it’s sugar, leading me to believe the printed ABV is low. [A.B.V. 9.5%]

Savor:  The floral / metallic flavor grows before dissipating into an ambiguous citrus flavor.

I really wanted to like Lucky Duck Riesling.  I mean really, riesling for under $5, widely available, and cute.  It’s just too inconsistent and soulless to recommend.  Not to mention, it doesn’t seem much like a German riesling at all.  It seems closer to a Gewurztraminer with some Viognier and a Sauvignon Blanc.  None of which is to be expected from an old world riesling.

Verdict:  Walks like a talk, talks like a duck, tastes like a chicken.  Probably not a duck.
Price: 4.99
Germany
Walmart